Uncertain OR don't ghost people, man, it can really play with their heads

I am uncertain.
Un- certain. Under certain. Under my certainty. Holding up certainty and in my exhaustion trying to maintain certain, I lose my grip- I have lost my grip on my certainty - not my sanity, that's a later entry (certaintly) - and I drop it!
It drops. I dropped it. I feel bad.
I feel bad and I don't know if I should.
So I do.
Just in case.
The worst of it is, I wouldn't know what to say to you now.
Not now, not today.
I wouldn't know what conversations had or had not happened.
Not for certain.
Not the true bits, right before the role play started.
Before I wrote your lines for you and imagined your saying them - your voice, your tone, your humor but all my lines.
Lines by me, but said by my imagined you.
Because I imagined you, when I no longer heard from you.
My imagined you knows all about real me.
I can't hide real me from imagined you.
And that's why real you might have ran away; because all that imagined you knows, real you must know, because I no longer know what you know!
So what I do know - what I know for certain - is that I don't know you now.
Not anymore.
I don't know you.
I feel bad, whether or not I should.
I feel bad that I don't know you.
Because if I don't know you, how can you know me.
You can't.
You can't, so you don't.
You don't know me.
So, I feel bad.
Now, I am certain.