How to care for the thirty something human OR Is all of this a chore for anyone else?!?

Bed times are impossible to enforce.
Just let them succumb in time.
Upon waking up, they will stay in bed for an hour if you let them.
Set an alarm - in addition to the three alarms already set for actually waking up - and hope they take the cue.
Try to feed them three meals a day.
If a meal is skipped, don't let them overload on snacks to compensate.
They will insist that chips and juice constitutes a meal so long as they add a some grapes and cheese.
This is not true.
They know it.
You know it.
We all know it.
Yet, this grown ass adult is still trying to make a meal out of a bag of rippled chips!!?
*sigh*
Get them outside for a walk.
Even if they have nowhere to be.
If they don't leave they will forget there is an outside world, insisting that all their memories are just dreams they had while awake and that they are in fact a living God in a universe the size of their apartment, so they don't have to work or pay taxes anymore because what kind of God would create a universe for them self wherein they have to use public transport just to clear soiled napkins and broken wine glasses for a Christmas party in October?!!!
...
...
...
Water.
They need it.
How much is up for debate.
Just have a glass full on the night stand throughout the day.