And on that day, when the lights went out, a child placed a message in a bottle.
The bottle carrying the message, was of little value, but it carried within a mighty howl.
For help, for deliverance, for the need to just be heard!
To be heard, if nothing else, by another living soul. Someone who could sympathize with a child who had nothing. Now, not even light.
With that in mind, this commonplace bottle containing a desperate cry, was thrown to the waters. No destination whatsoever, in the senders mind.
Simply find someone.
Such a simple wish, containing such a fraught invocation may not be able to defy the oceans ebb and flow, but it can hide from it. If only for awhile.
Long enough to be pulled by another little miracle.
A summoning by a girl, no longer a woman, who skipped a stone in the lake behind her once family home.
A stone skipped a total of seven times. The seventh skip collided with water concealing glass. The sound rings out, and the message finds a receiver.
An opportunity for the girl, no longer a woman, looking out at a brand new world.
Monday 30 July 2018
Day 226
A Do you know why you're afraid of thunder?
B I'm not afraid-
A You are. Everyone that ever was has been afraid of thunder. Denying it doesn't help, only understanding it. Now: do you know why?
B ...
A You are afraid of it, because it shakes you. That simple.
B Wow. You come up with that on your own.
A It's true.
B Sure sure.
A It's true. Something you can not see, nor touch, comes at you very suddenly and fits itself into the spaces between the blocks you are built of and lives there. It invades you. Even if is just for a moment: you are invaded. And it doesn't matter what you say or what you do, you cannot prevent it. This thing does nothing to you, but you are frightened all the same. Imagine something that wanted to harm you. Imagine thunder that bites.
That's the universe you live in. And that is what you are afraid of.
B ... so you telling me this, this means I'm not afraid of nothing no more?
A Oh no, you'll be afraid regardless. But now you'll know why.
B ... fantastic.
B I'm not afraid-
A You are. Everyone that ever was has been afraid of thunder. Denying it doesn't help, only understanding it. Now: do you know why?
B ...
A You are afraid of it, because it shakes you. That simple.
B Wow. You come up with that on your own.
A It's true.
B Sure sure.
A It's true. Something you can not see, nor touch, comes at you very suddenly and fits itself into the spaces between the blocks you are built of and lives there. It invades you. Even if is just for a moment: you are invaded. And it doesn't matter what you say or what you do, you cannot prevent it. This thing does nothing to you, but you are frightened all the same. Imagine something that wanted to harm you. Imagine thunder that bites.
That's the universe you live in. And that is what you are afraid of.
B ... so you telling me this, this means I'm not afraid of nothing no more?
A Oh no, you'll be afraid regardless. But now you'll know why.
B ... fantastic.
Saturday 28 July 2018
Day 225
When indecision strikes and you wait until it is out of your hands, when time or circumstance makes a choice for you: there's a moment of relief.
Relief and release.
And if you're lucky, it will be enough to numb the shame of your cowardice for at least a moment.
Life is not lived in doorways.
Rooms are where life happens.
You lingering there will result in two things: either you will continue to linger, or the door will be closed, keeping you out.
Wither way, get out of the doorway.
Relief and release.
And if you're lucky, it will be enough to numb the shame of your cowardice for at least a moment.
Life is not lived in doorways.
Rooms are where life happens.
You lingering there will result in two things: either you will continue to linger, or the door will be closed, keeping you out.
Wither way, get out of the doorway.
Friday 27 July 2018
Day 224
The now not so distant crash drew nearer, still.
And our protagonist remembered in himself that ancient fear. An inheritance left to him by his ancestors, who once looked to the dancing lights above in awe, only to withdraw to their caves in deference to the echoing roar.
His own childhood trauma of counting down the beats between flash emerged from time.
To think of thunder as a rolling drum, rather than the crashing footsteps of a behemoth, bent on crushing an innocent child.
One mississippi. Two mississippi. Three mississippi. Four-
Again. Closer than than it was before.
Closer himself to childhood than he'd been in decades.
A grown babe, clutching at anything to fight off a world bigger than himself.
No shelter from the noise.
No parents to stop the storm.
Nothing.
A child. A storm. And nothing else.
And our protagonist remembered in himself that ancient fear. An inheritance left to him by his ancestors, who once looked to the dancing lights above in awe, only to withdraw to their caves in deference to the echoing roar.
His own childhood trauma of counting down the beats between flash emerged from time.
To think of thunder as a rolling drum, rather than the crashing footsteps of a behemoth, bent on crushing an innocent child.
One mississippi. Two mississippi. Three mississippi. Four-
Again. Closer than than it was before.
Closer himself to childhood than he'd been in decades.
A grown babe, clutching at anything to fight off a world bigger than himself.
No shelter from the noise.
No parents to stop the storm.
Nothing.
A child. A storm. And nothing else.
Wednesday 25 July 2018
Day 223
A new service, provided by your local penny-farthing rider.
They will peddle down your local street, bringing with them an assortment of big balloons.
You'll know the rider is coming, by the sound of his unusual bell: that of an auto-tuned lynx.
When you hear that sound, you will see a great number of adults take to the streets, and should you continue to watch; a bizarre sight will be beheld.
At the front of the line of eager adults, an individual will be seen fitting their whole head into wide end of gramophone horn. They inhale deeply, and by all appearances release a great roar.
I say by all appearances, because no roar will sound out.
Instead, the sound will carry through a series of tubes, each branching off and winding round several contraptions, before being siphoned off into various different balloons.
Relieved, the adult shall leave the line and return to their home, so the next in line might unburden a scream or a shout.
Each shout will fill up each balloon by a different amount, because each shout is composed of a different value.
Only the Penny-farthing rider knows the exact color coordination.
Just know that by the time every adult in the neighborhood has released their roars, the penny farthing rider will take their newly inflated collection of balloons away from your town.
And what they do with them ...
We haven't quite figured that part out yet ...!
They will peddle down your local street, bringing with them an assortment of big balloons.
You'll know the rider is coming, by the sound of his unusual bell: that of an auto-tuned lynx.
When you hear that sound, you will see a great number of adults take to the streets, and should you continue to watch; a bizarre sight will be beheld.
At the front of the line of eager adults, an individual will be seen fitting their whole head into wide end of gramophone horn. They inhale deeply, and by all appearances release a great roar.
I say by all appearances, because no roar will sound out.
Instead, the sound will carry through a series of tubes, each branching off and winding round several contraptions, before being siphoned off into various different balloons.
Relieved, the adult shall leave the line and return to their home, so the next in line might unburden a scream or a shout.
Each shout will fill up each balloon by a different amount, because each shout is composed of a different value.
Only the Penny-farthing rider knows the exact color coordination.
Just know that by the time every adult in the neighborhood has released their roars, the penny farthing rider will take their newly inflated collection of balloons away from your town.
And what they do with them ...
We haven't quite figured that part out yet ...!
Tuesday 24 July 2018
Day 222
Because we cannot choose what will be remembered or recovered long after we are gone, and if this should be one such passage recovered from what will by then be considered ancient history:
There are very likely some misconceptions floating around, that I should like to clear up.
To start: we did not resurrect dinosaurs. Nor did we kill them after resurrecting them, neither for sport nor for food.
Dinosaurs aren't actually good hunting sport as the most adept tend to become the hunter themselves.
And dinosaur meat, as it turns out, cannot be cooked to a satisfying culinary temperature.
Furthermore, we were not privy to time travelers from the future. Only from the past - and they all got here the same way: the long way round.
Finally, I must shatter any illusions you may have regarding our discovery of any number of sleeping horrors in the depths of space.
I repeat, no slumbering ancients, leftover from a time when thought and form were still one and the same, have ever been discovered by the people of this time.
So if anyone in future days should be seeking such things out: cease and desist.
You are wasting your time.
There is nothing to look for.
Nothing to waken.
Nothing to find.
Please stop looking for it.
There are very likely some misconceptions floating around, that I should like to clear up.
To start: we did not resurrect dinosaurs. Nor did we kill them after resurrecting them, neither for sport nor for food.
Dinosaurs aren't actually good hunting sport as the most adept tend to become the hunter themselves.
And dinosaur meat, as it turns out, cannot be cooked to a satisfying culinary temperature.
Furthermore, we were not privy to time travelers from the future. Only from the past - and they all got here the same way: the long way round.
Finally, I must shatter any illusions you may have regarding our discovery of any number of sleeping horrors in the depths of space.
I repeat, no slumbering ancients, leftover from a time when thought and form were still one and the same, have ever been discovered by the people of this time.
So if anyone in future days should be seeking such things out: cease and desist.
You are wasting your time.
There is nothing to look for.
Nothing to waken.
Nothing to find.
Please stop looking for it.
Friday 20 July 2018
Day 221
Log:
Today I thought the pile of dirty clothes had somehow gotten smaller, caused only by my own sheer force of will.
In reality, the pile only appeared smaller, because the nearby stack of dirty dishes had itself grown in size.
The ongoing quest to shape my reality without physically acting upon it, continues ...
Today I thought the pile of dirty clothes had somehow gotten smaller, caused only by my own sheer force of will.
In reality, the pile only appeared smaller, because the nearby stack of dirty dishes had itself grown in size.
The ongoing quest to shape my reality without physically acting upon it, continues ...
Wednesday 18 July 2018
Day 220
So gender inclusive bathrooms. No qualms. Do it up. Outhouses never needed labels, why should toilet stalls.
Here is all that I ask: tell me, before I choose which gender neutral/inclusive water closet, which has the urinals. Because the terror of hogging a whole bathroom stall, just to go tinkle while some else is waiting to take the full ride, is all too real for me. Add to that anxiety, the possibility of inconveniencing people that cannot pee standing up, and my heart might just backflip into my brain.
Here is all that I ask: tell me, before I choose which gender neutral/inclusive water closet, which has the urinals. Because the terror of hogging a whole bathroom stall, just to go tinkle while some else is waiting to take the full ride, is all too real for me. Add to that anxiety, the possibility of inconveniencing people that cannot pee standing up, and my heart might just backflip into my brain.
Day 218
I dreamt that I had slept in.
In the dream, my sleeping in was not only allowed, but necessitated.
My sleeping in was exactly what I should have done, and my doing so had further proven my competence and reliability in a far too unreliable world.
I then awoke.
Crushed by the reality that I would rather dream of sleep, than wake for dreams.
In the dream, my sleeping in was not only allowed, but necessitated.
My sleeping in was exactly what I should have done, and my doing so had further proven my competence and reliability in a far too unreliable world.
I then awoke.
Crushed by the reality that I would rather dream of sleep, than wake for dreams.
Day 217
And some mornings you wake up, and she's right there with you.
You thought she'd left. In fact you counted on her leaving.
Because it's hard to keep the dark in, when she's lighting everything up like that.
And you want it to be dark.
You need it to be dark.
Otherwise you'll see the dirty dishes on the desk.
And who knows; you might be compelled to clean them ...
She isn't really there with you.
She really did leave some time ago.
And you regret counting on her leaving.
It really is quite dark in here . . .
You thought she'd left. In fact you counted on her leaving.
Because it's hard to keep the dark in, when she's lighting everything up like that.
And you want it to be dark.
You need it to be dark.
Otherwise you'll see the dirty dishes on the desk.
And who knows; you might be compelled to clean them ...
She isn't really there with you.
She really did leave some time ago.
And you regret counting on her leaving.
It really is quite dark in here . . .
Wednesday 11 July 2018
Day 216
It's hard to be openhearted and optimistic when talking about politics.
Especially when in conversation with people with opposite views.
It tends towards debate. Debate towards argument. Argument to fighting.
And the point of a fight is to win. Because we need there to be a winner. Even though we're all playing for the same team really.
But maybe that's why I've failed to engage.
It feels burdensome. A chain around the neck of the adult human. To be informed enough, so that you know there isn't a secret coup going on; while not being so informed you become CONVINCED there is a secret coup going on.
So what do I want to feel, when I think on politics and conversation.
Something like this: wow.
Everything is happening. All around. In real time. And I get to have a say in how it does!
We have a genuine opportunity to shape the world in which we live, and the world that we will leave behind?!
Let's do that! You and me, stranger. Let's decide, together what is important. Let's shape our world!
That kind of makes me want to vomit cotton candy.
But I hope I'm making myself clear: I want to be excited by the things that make me groan.
I want to want a better world, more than I want to avoid mud slinging.
And I'm impatient, because I want to make big changes now, to make up for all the little change I didn't make before yesterday.
So be patient with me, I don't really know what I'm doing.
Especially when in conversation with people with opposite views.
It tends towards debate. Debate towards argument. Argument to fighting.
And the point of a fight is to win. Because we need there to be a winner. Even though we're all playing for the same team really.
But maybe that's why I've failed to engage.
It feels burdensome. A chain around the neck of the adult human. To be informed enough, so that you know there isn't a secret coup going on; while not being so informed you become CONVINCED there is a secret coup going on.
So what do I want to feel, when I think on politics and conversation.
Something like this: wow.
Everything is happening. All around. In real time. And I get to have a say in how it does!
We have a genuine opportunity to shape the world in which we live, and the world that we will leave behind?!
Let's do that! You and me, stranger. Let's decide, together what is important. Let's shape our world!
That kind of makes me want to vomit cotton candy.
But I hope I'm making myself clear: I want to be excited by the things that make me groan.
I want to want a better world, more than I want to avoid mud slinging.
And I'm impatient, because I want to make big changes now, to make up for all the little change I didn't make before yesterday.
So be patient with me, I don't really know what I'm doing.
Sunday 8 July 2018
Day 215
Because some people would rather kick over sand castles.
Because it's easier.
Because it was gonna fall over any way. So you mad?
Because I don't wanna make something.
Because it's just gonna break anyway.
Or it won't be good.
Or I won't be able to ...
Because making things is stupid!!!!
Because making things is hard.
Because the universe tends towards entropy. So to make something in the face of this, is rebellion. Creation is taking a stand against an opponent you'll never beat and doing it anyway.
To create takes courage.
To destroy is cowardly.
Because some people who kick over sand castles are cowards.
You know who you are.
Because it's easier.
Because it was gonna fall over any way. So you mad?
Because I don't wanna make something.
Because it's just gonna break anyway.
Or it won't be good.
Or I won't be able to ...
Because making things is stupid!!!!
Because making things is hard.
Because the universe tends towards entropy. So to make something in the face of this, is rebellion. Creation is taking a stand against an opponent you'll never beat and doing it anyway.
To create takes courage.
To destroy is cowardly.
Because some people who kick over sand castles are cowards.
You know who you are.
Thursday 5 July 2018
Day 214
The universe speaks.
Those who know such things, know this to be true. They also know that there are only two ways in which to clearly hear what the universe is saying.
One way, is to hear everything in the universe making noise all at once.
This is not recommended as your head might explode from the effort.
The other method is slightly more achievable, and fortunately the language is, as you probably guessed, universal.
The other is to isolate yourself from all other things. Find yourself between the two parts of existence, in a snug little alcove of your own discovery.
Slow your breathing. Calm your heart.
Feel the stillness in between on beat and the next begin to grow.
The pause is slight, but if you can make room for it, and assure that not even the noise found in thought disturbs this temporary microcosm: you will feel it.
The whisper through your bones.
"I am here."
Those who know such things, know this to be true. They also know that there are only two ways in which to clearly hear what the universe is saying.
One way, is to hear everything in the universe making noise all at once.
This is not recommended as your head might explode from the effort.
The other method is slightly more achievable, and fortunately the language is, as you probably guessed, universal.
The other is to isolate yourself from all other things. Find yourself between the two parts of existence, in a snug little alcove of your own discovery.
Slow your breathing. Calm your heart.
Feel the stillness in between on beat and the next begin to grow.
The pause is slight, but if you can make room for it, and assure that not even the noise found in thought disturbs this temporary microcosm: you will feel it.
The whisper through your bones.
"I am here."
Wednesday 4 July 2018
Day 213
In desperation, his digging gave way to simply clawing. His hands quickly going numb from the repetitive act.
Poor fool.
Would it be mercy, or malice to tell him the truth: that what he was actually digging through, was precisely what he had been digging for!
Poor fool.
Would it be mercy, or malice to tell him the truth: that what he was actually digging through, was precisely what he had been digging for!
Tuesday 3 July 2018
Day 212
If I should bring a child into this world, let them be plain. Let their non-remarkableness be the only remarkable thing about them.
Let them thrive without making a wave or enduring echo after the fact.
Let them never draw the gaze of the fates/furies/gods/producers/powerful/influential/awful/evil/corrupt/ravenous.
Let them be no target of unnecessary scandal, envy or lust.
Let them be strong and virtuous, but let their strengths and virtues be hidden from the eye of passersby; so only those that have earned an audience might see the oasis behind the mist.
I wish these things for my children that may never be, not because I think it should be this way, but because I fear them being remarkable in a world that is fast fattening itself off the flesh of the wondrous. The beautiful.
This place is consuming the bells before they are given chance to bloom, and I find I am mourning the sights and smells that could have been, but never now will be. Why? Because if it only could have been, then it would have been.
If it would have been, it should have been.
And if it should have been…
If.
If I should bring a child into such a world, I would not know where to begin raising it up to survive shouldering the burden of its own amazement, in a world that has run out of its own supply ...
I wouldn’t.
So I shouldn’t ...
Monday 2 July 2018
Day 211
I wanted to say something patriotic.
I'm sure I was feeling patriotic at some point today.
But now I can't, because I don't. I don't because you have a problem with a gender inclusive pronoun in the national anthem.
You, and a very loud and blustering group of indignants, who see yourselves as "real" patriots, have a problem changing all our sons command, to all of us command. You know, the original lyric from when it was originally written. But that's just historical fact, it get in the way of your efinition of heritage and tradition, I'll withdraw it.
You're so goddamn patriotic, that you decided that one word change from sons, to us, is one step TOO FAR!
That this change destroys YOUR country.
So to prove your undying and unquestionable pride in what Canada stands for, you will not be changing that one word. This is what you will be celebrating on Canada day. Stubborn masculine insistence.
Not Terry Fox racing against death on only one leg, not Leonard Cohen, not the blue puttees, Louis Riel, Universal Healthcare, not even the underground railway from slavery in the states or fucking poutine.
NO!
YOUR Canada lives and dies on whether or not our national anthem will continue to IGNORE 50.4 percent of the country or not.
There are genuine criticisms to be made about this country.
There are legitimately outrageous things to be pointed out about the current government.
And the voice of dissent is not only welcomed, it is necessary.
And you could be that voice. You could represent the ones harmed by unfavorable policy and ignored in bureaucratic oversight.
You could be a voice to save and preserve the best parts of this country and be champion to reconciling its faults.
Instead you choose this: to be mad about the lack of dick in your national anthem.
So thanks for dampening my Canadian spirit.
Enjoy singing the wrong words at every game for no reason.
I'm sure I was feeling patriotic at some point today.
But now I can't, because I don't. I don't because you have a problem with a gender inclusive pronoun in the national anthem.
You, and a very loud and blustering group of indignants, who see yourselves as "real" patriots, have a problem changing all our sons command, to all of us command. You know, the original lyric from when it was originally written. But that's just historical fact, it get in the way of your efinition of heritage and tradition, I'll withdraw it.
You're so goddamn patriotic, that you decided that one word change from sons, to us, is one step TOO FAR!
That this change destroys YOUR country.
So to prove your undying and unquestionable pride in what Canada stands for, you will not be changing that one word. This is what you will be celebrating on Canada day. Stubborn masculine insistence.
Not Terry Fox racing against death on only one leg, not Leonard Cohen, not the blue puttees, Louis Riel, Universal Healthcare, not even the underground railway from slavery in the states or fucking poutine.
NO!
YOUR Canada lives and dies on whether or not our national anthem will continue to IGNORE 50.4 percent of the country or not.
There are genuine criticisms to be made about this country.
There are legitimately outrageous things to be pointed out about the current government.
And the voice of dissent is not only welcomed, it is necessary.
And you could be that voice. You could represent the ones harmed by unfavorable policy and ignored in bureaucratic oversight.
You could be a voice to save and preserve the best parts of this country and be champion to reconciling its faults.
Instead you choose this: to be mad about the lack of dick in your national anthem.
So thanks for dampening my Canadian spirit.
Enjoy singing the wrong words at every game for no reason.
Sunday 1 July 2018
Day 210
I should've known things were about to take a turn for the worst.
Mostly because the narrator said so ...
Mostly because the narrator said so ...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)