Tonight, we will dream.
In dreaming we will work through the threats our subconscious battles daily; like a psychic immune system and every shame and insecurity is a would be viral intruder.
We will visualize our doubts and fears and we will see them.
We will not conquer them.
I'm not being defeatist, I'm simply stating fact.
I imagine a great sea creature, slow and lumbering. Half blind in its stumbling and roughly the size of a speedboat.
What it looks like in light of day I'll never know, because it won't stay still long enough. It is also usually covered in coral, sea weed and whatever debris it has picked up along the way in its thrashing and flailing below calm surfaces.
I don't mean to ignore this creature. It is not my intent to be inattentive.
But the only affections I can ever summon for the poor thing, make manifest when distance between us is greatest.
I want to love this scaly creature.
I want to calm the flailing of its confusion and agony whenever it is before me.
But it's jaws grow wide and rows of teeth seem to fly out at me. And in the dream scenario I always cast myself as the dinner to be, before waking up and banishing it back to it's briny depths ...
I hope do tonight's dream will be different.
Let me have the strength to see past the bluster and bile.
Allow me to see myself shattering these facades to reveal the man behind the curtain.
Make me a healer tonight.
Let me love the hidden parts of myself.
Let none of me be neglected anymore ...
Alot to ask I know. But if not in dreams, where else can I ask for the outrageous?
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