Day 20

Like brushing your teeth or flossing, the thing you forgot to do and then remembered to do at the last minute:
WRITE
THAT
BLOG!!!!!
Yes, dreamers and dandies I am continuing to contribute to the this exercise of sheer will and stubbornness.
Because I may be drunk.
I may be tired.
I may have just divulged several personal feelings about my good standings with a lovely lady, but I made a promise dammit!
....
I regret that tonight's fulfillment of that promise is simply a journal entry/stream of consciousness assignment.
...
So lets try to send a message to the sober self of this inebriated self (self five for spelling inebriated correctly on the first try, silver medal for all the mistakes you'll cover up afterwards with the help of squiggly red underline.)

Hello sober man.
You're worried.
Understandable.
No one you know has gone through everything you have.
Beause then they'd be you right? ... just killed a fly. You're welcome.
Before these nuggets of wisdom, largely offered/received by/from other people fade into obscurity, allow me to serve them to you in their wiggly drunken wrapping:
1. You're doing alright. You're working hard and making progress. And you should be working towards what you want, so don't worry about the progress you could be making in fields of things you don't want.
2. You live in mortal fear of the question "what do you want?" That's fine.
You're comfortable living in the world of what's going on, so improv your way through. "Yes and:" that shit.
You get homicidal on a 40 plus hour work week, maybe being an inconsistent self-employed still waiting for his big break artist is ACTUALLY a public service.
And instead of a medal, you get to pursue your dream and NOT be a murderer.
3. You told someone that the greatest tragedy you've experienced this week (because come on, you're a white guy in Canada, the worst thing that can happen to you is someone hurts your feelings. And if it gets realbad you can go to the doctor for free!!!!)
is that one of the most admirable souls you knew, didn't have someone exactly like them self to hear counsel from.
Because often times the best advice, is the kind we give to others.
So once in awhile, advise yourself as you would a friend in need.
Because you don't have to horde you kindness and gentleness for others.
You can treat yourself from time to time.

This is drunk Scott signing out.
I hope sober Scott can be receptive