Today was supposed to be a writing day ...

Today was supposed to be a writing day.

But today was one of those days.

Those days I don't like to talk about.

The in between days,

The bored and un content with the content days,

The un remarkable, yet make a mark anyways days.

A what's YouTube recommend to me today day ... 

(A lot of pro wrestling ...)

Not everyday can be a "eureka" day.

I'm not always breaking down a breakthrough,

If I was, my brain would mimic a mayflies sex life; 

Here today gone tomorrow.

No mind won't unwind under that much unravelling.

Somedays I just take the universe as is and say "I'm standing up and the world's beneath me, because f*#% science motherf*#%er!"

But I'm wary of these take it for granted days.

Those days oft too often end up an everyday day.

And then, when I think on that I overreact and it turns out it turns into a look in the mirror day.

And today will not be a look in the mirror day.

Look in the mirror days can be healthy in doses,

But one such a day, is not and will not be today.

But if it was, I would probably say:

I freely admit that I am many times flawed, too many times self absorbed and oh so so many many times self conscious,

In addition to being unconscious of the unawareness my unpreparedness in the face of faces looking to me to be what other faces need me to be in order to see in order to say in the right order the words that let them know that everything they do and are and feel is okay; and as long as it's not a look in the mirror day, let me just say if it were; I'd sum it up by saying:

If I have ever promised you aesthetic, cosmetic, athletic, artistic, empathic, scholastic, linguistic or intrinsic infallibility: do not cash that cheque my friend. It will bounce higher than my eyebrow after an innuendo and you know me (if you know me) that that is a mighty high climb.

I never promised perfection to anybody.

I have and will only ever endeavour to aspire to this:

Be better. 

Be better than you; the "who I was on Monday when today is Tuesday" you.

And this is not out of shame: it's respect.

Respect for and upon whom I reflect.

Because the reflection I reflect upon on look in the mirror days, looks back at me too and I owe it to him to not get squeamish over hairlines receding or blemishes impeding on the mask over the many masks I bear in the best and worst of times to come, when who and what I am is determined by what I do. 

And I'm gonna reflect on that too.

And there's no telling what I'll see

When I look back at what I'm looking back at, looking back at me.

That's all for look in the mirror day.

Today is still an I forgot to write day.

Okay? ... Okay.

A poet wrote some poetry, this is what that means to me:

I have been reading.
I have been re reading and in my re re reading.
I have relearned the meaning of one 4 letter word,
I found it in your 7 page world.
But this one word, whether or not it was the author's intent,
Has now and will always be a synonym for you.

Because I've realized, if you or it were whistled while I worked
I'd pay to stay and say fuck the vacation days.

There'd be no need for churches,
Cause we'd need no martyrs to barter for unnecessary salvation
We'd already be saved.
With you and this in our hearts: angels would beg to fall,
They'd claw their way out of heaven's gates just to glimpse the heavens in us all.

You're what dogs say to their owners with each sloppy kiss.
What children can't say when they first meet their Mom's, it's this.
What lives on my lips, as answer to the only question "what's worth the risk?"
What William Shakespeare spent 154 sonnets trying to find the words for;
That was you, because you are this:

...
Guessed yet?
It's big but it's little,
But don't be deceived, it's not short n sweet.
It will bring you to your knees and lift you to your feet.
And it may or may not make the world go round,
But next time I re read what you wrote again,
I'll be reminded to feel the spin.

A letter to Miss Whittaker circa 1981

Dear Miss Whittaker,

You and I haven't met yet.
Before we do, I want you to know something:
For every day you've lived and each day you've yet to see;
No one will love you more than my sister and me.

Her name is Mrs Tuck, and you'll see for yourself that she's a lot like you.
She makes friends easily and takes crap from nobody.
She's an adventurer and an athlete and, like you, yells at the other drivers on the road; even though they'll never hear either of you.

And as for me.
You'll teach me math, because you're better at it than my Dad.
You show me how to do laundry, though admittedly, I still need practice.

You're gonna teach me "I love you" before I know what words are.
It is the most important thing I'll ever learn to say.

And I want to say it to you today and yesterday and on all the days spanning back to before you know me.

Because I learn it first from you Mom.
I learn first to love from you.

Love from,
your six years from now son.

Ps
I'm gonna say "Lo-kee-doh" a lot.
We never really figure out what that means.
So ... Just go with it.